Toy Review: ShareVibe

It’s been one year.

One crazy, sexy, fun, hard, deep, wet, hot, long year…

and now for a product review ūüôā

Fun Factory Share Vibe:

vibe.jpg

At first glance this toy seems rather aesthetically pleasing and sleek; a real friendly approach to strap ons.

I have used many Fun Factory toys in the past and have grown to really like their magnetic chargers. Fumbling for batteries in the drawer for your bullet is a thing of the past!

The vibrator itself is very powerful but could hold a better charge. It’s certainly a one a done kind of thing. If you’re looking for a personal vibe that will last you over 45 minutes, this is not the one for you. It’s a great addition to the actual dildo itself for a little extra stimulation.

The Shorter end of the ShareVibe designed to go inside the vagina has a good size and great curve for g-spot stimulation. It does fall out a little too easily if you are in the wrong position. I find that laying down is the only way to keep it inside without constant adjusting. In the long term a harness would make a good addition as it will allow you to do more standing or kneeling positions comfortably.

The other end is a great length and angle for your partners prostate or g-spot stimulation. The girth could be a little more for my personal taste, but I have yet to have a complaint from a partner taking it ūüėČ

 

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I can’t believe that in this day and age when it is rather normal for famous entertainers to get up and ride giant fake dicks in front of millions of people that I can have so many tell me I’m strange for enjoying kinks. Maybe I am the one in a million weirdo who likes fucked up sex that no one else could ever imagine. Ever!

… Most likely not.

For some reason we still have the ‘lights-off-dont-make-eye-contact-between-the-sheets-missionary’ social mentality about sex, and this makes me so, so very sad, for so many people are missing out on awesome pleasures they never knew existed.

I reached a point a few years ago when I felt I was getting old… I looked back at all the partners I had experimented with in my teens and early twenties and thought “how the hell did I bend that way?” or “damn I wish I could still endure an entire day of fucking!”. Although I dug through a hefty amount of loss, I did come to realize that with age and experience I had gained an incredibly important and valuable ingredient to great sex: I now know¬†how to get what I want. You see, back then I found myself in all sorts of crazy awkward positions, long romps, and partners who were ‘meh’, all because I didn’t know how to open up and¬†ask for what I wanted. Being raised in a family who didn’t talk about how to communicate in romantic relationships let alone discuss the birds and the bees made for a lot of awkward sex and relationships when I came of age.

Now, openness really doesn’t have to do with age. Its all about maturity and intelligence. I have been with middle-aged men who laughed or got weird about my own personal fetishes. Its absolutely okay to not share the interest, but you should never makes someone feel ashamed or embarrassed for their wiring. If so, you are a dick! (And probably have sex even a panda would yawn at.)

The easiest way to get what you want: just ask. What is the worst thing that can happen? You don’t get it. Congratulations! You are exactly where you were before you asked.

Bonus: it may open up some lines of communication which are always a healthy beneficial part of a relationship! Yay!

Extra Bonus: if they react like an immature asshole…¬†kick em to the curb! Also, Congratulations! You’ve just saved yourself some rather valuable time!

Know and love who you are and what you enjoy! Be confident about yourself! After all, there is nothing sexier than confidence!

When ‘Forever’ Becomes ‘For Now’

I cannot for the life of me come up with a past partner who was ever okay with me being friends with exes. It is understandable that it is human nature to feel jealousy and hurt when thinking about the person you love and share your most intimate moments with having those same experiences with someone else. Many times I have tried to explain the exact nature of our post coital friendships, but it has always been met with various yet similar responses:

“I don’t want to hear about it”, and the most popular “You can’t be friends with him if you want to stay with me”.

“Don’t” and “can’t” being directed my way from a lover are always the first signs that I should get the fuck out. It took me a long while to gather my experiences, faults, mistakes, and victories from scattered short-term and long-term relationships to finally see the full picture of jealousy, possession, and all around being a fucking adult about breakups and friendship.

J.

It was a rather warm September that year and I still recall sitting on the back porch rather calm and certain as we talked about breaking off our engagement. The deposits had already been paid and the picture perfect wedding all planned out. The only issue was that I didn’t feel any passion for him, the city I relocated to in order to make us work, or my entire life built there. I had essentially cut off most of my ties to my old life and it all began with some of my closest friends that happened to be exes. When I first started dating J, he lied to me about being married.¬†Strike one.¬†At the time, I was still working with an ex boyfriend who I had kept a rather professional and friendly relationship with. After all, he did provide me with some incredible guidance and life altering memories, so why should I cut him out of my life if all was kosher between us? It had to end according to J.¬†Strike two.¬†It was during our discussions on the matter that I came to an unsettling realization: he had completely cut ties in every way possible (even throwing away mutual friendships) with every single one of his exes, and to top it off, had nothing but hateful and mean things to say about them… hmmm…¬†Strike three.¬†

Despite all the losses and mistakes I made in being with him, I wouldn’t take back a single second I spent with J. The relationship was the pivotal experience I needed in order to grow. Since him I have had a few long-term relationships. The first was Paul and his reaction was identical to that of J’s. It was the first indication that it was¬†him¬†who was the problem in his past relationships and eventually his controlling side would show.

Now I am with Adam, and, for the first time ever, I have received a different response. The first time he found out a close friend was an ex lover, he did get visibly upset, but admitted that it was only his human nature of jealousy kicking in and that I need not apologize or feel obligated to explain or change. Finally! A man who really gets it! He explained that he had never dated a woman with as much experience as him… or one who was honest about it. Still, it has been a struggle, but a pleasant one we are learning and growing through. He has been rather kind to one of my best (ex) friends and has¬†gotten to know him at a few social gatherings.

I must say, there certainly are times when ties need to be cut, but if they were an important piece of your life, love, and who you are and you both can be adult and civil about it, why not keep the friendship? Some of my most caring, healthy, and close friendships are with men I have been intimate with in the past but ended up being better friends than lovers. I believe in successful short-term relationships. They taught us what we do and do not like, how to love, how to change, how to shine, and how to deal with loss.

Oh, and as soon as I moved on and started dating someone new, J asked me to never contact him again. I suppose he will keep his pattern alive. Every now and then I think about where I would be had I married him… and it makes me feel even more confident and happy about where I am now. Wherever he may be in life I do hope he has found success and love… and learns to respect and treasure the past… even the painful parts.

Oral Fixation

There was a conversation between myself and a coworker the other day that really got me thinking about oral. We were talking about sex (as you do at work) and the subject of blow jobs came up.

“If God wanted us to put them in our mouths he would have made penises flavored.” She told me in disgust.

“Umm.. he did… ” I replied. “They’re dick flavored!”

I know I can’t possibly be the only woman out there who¬†loves to give oral, yet through my conversations with my fellow gender as well as my male friends, the subject of blow jobs seems to be that of a negative one to women. Giving good head is an art form that takes practice (lots, and lots of practice…), exploration, and¬†desire.¬†To be completely honest, I couldn’t say just how many unique members I’ve pleased orally, and I’d bet any average sexually active woman is the same in the sense that they’ve sucked more than they’ve fucked. I do remember in my teens being awful at it. It took a long while before I realized I had to¬†ask what felt good and where.

Here are some of my thoughts on why someone might be against a little oral.

Poor Hygiene

Lets be real, guys can be pretty gross sometimes. All that extra skin just flopping around down there all day… soaking up the sweat… eww… ( :: breaks to take a shower :: ) Ok. Much¬†better. But seriously… I have never dated a guy who at some point or another had a long hard day and just wasn’t feeling it down under. Thankfully most were open enough to let me know up front, but I have had a few instances where foreplay began with “hey baby… let’s get naked and rub each other down in a hot steamy shower!” Problem solved.

Trying to Emulate Porn

Lets be real, those girls have a ton of experience, hours of shooting, breaks, lights, makeup, and well-trained gag reflexes. Porn is made to be visually pleasing and I guarantee you most of the men receiving in the films A) don’t really give a shit and B) would rather have a good old-fashioned sucking rather than some girl finger flicking his cock and making weird duck faces with their tongue hanging out.

Past (Bad) Experiences

We tend to let our pasts rule our futures. For example, If we fall off the swing set and break a leg, well, fuck that bitch, we’re never gonna swing again! Too often (I am very guilty of this) do we have a shitty breakup or bad lay then check that type or experience off our list never to be revisited again. It’s not crazy to try again, just do something different this time!

He Was Bad at Receiving

Blow jobs are not one-sided. I am not just on my knees, back, or (on special occasion) hanging upside down sucking off a magical floating dick. Whether it’s a slight hair tug, a cheek caress, thrusting, gyrating, or any other action he may make, it all affects the quality and enjoyability of the job.¬†Some¬†guys just really suck at this. I’ve had the over zealous thruster seemingly trying to knock my teeth out, the over reacher who thinks somehow my mouth and ass can be in the same vicinity at once, and the stiff, who, well, doesn’t do anything at all. These guys really made the job unsatisfying and I couldn’t be more relieved to move on to my next little snowflake of a penis, but I never let these experiences define my opinion on oral.

You Just¬†Don’t Like It

Hey, to each her own. There really are some gals out there that for whatever mental or physical reason don’t like giving oral pleasure. As for me, I will continue on my journey of licking, sucking, nibbling, kissing, and stroking. One cock at a time… or two… or three…

Sociopath seeks Strange

“I hate you for all that you’ve done, but you’ll never know how deeply rooted you are in me… just how much I really love you.”

Ouch.

I’m still not sure how I should feel about those words being spat my direction let alone¬†if¬†I should feel anything at all on the matter. Paul is a bit of a mess. Ok, understatement. He has completely fallen apart at the emotional seams since I broke it off with him four months ago. I can’t help but allow my heart to ache every time I hear his voice, feel his words, or see his face. Even a damn picture sets me off in a flutter of confusion and tears.

I do know, without a single ounce of doubt, that it is unhealthy psychologically and physically to be in a relationship with this man. But for some reason that hint of hope keeps shining its stupid light through the needle eye of a hole in my heart.

Stupid love… Stupid sex… Stupid pleasure… Stupid pain… Stupid hope.

All I can do is keep trekking. Keep on keeping on. Not to sound cliche or lame as hell, but I have to keep myself occupied. My self loathing may take over (if it already hasn’t) and we can’t have that little monster running amok. I am already walking a thin line around a deep dark place… and all I ever wanted was some good orgasms and interesting company to provide them.

Thank goodness for my trusty ole pocket rocket. I swear I am keeping the corner store alive on their double a battery sales alone… see how quickly this dove from heartache to perversion?

I need a fucking hobby.

Peg-A-Saurus

I have found myself in the most secure sexual relationship a woman could ever desire; handsome, loyal, romantic, intelligent, social, savvy and a big, perfectly shaped penis to boot! Most woman would be jumping up and down in their heels (or on his member) with joy to have found such a textbook prince, yet, I suppose, I am not most women. Within my heart I know that I have found the safest, most vanilla partner, Adam. This makes my heart sad and my vagina dry.

A relationship requires teamwork, patience, love, trust, and of course, incredible sex. Without the last the first four are meaningless.

I met my sexual (and emotional) match in my last partner. To be completely honest, I thought Paul was flaming gay when we first became friends. Well dressed and overly sexual in every action, and I mean every action… seriously, he could somehow make a conversation about cardboard the most moistening and erotic experience. When we began dating, it was an explosion of sexual napalm. As someone who felt rather experienced and open-minded, my sexual relationship with him made me feel like I was discovering air for the first time.

It wasn’t long before Paul came to me with the holy grail of kinky requests: “I want you to fuck me…”

:: insert victory dance here ::

I did. And it was amazing.

There is no feeling comparable to that of switching your role for the first time. To dominate. To feel what it means to penetrate someone. To be entirely in control. To have complete trust handed over. Fucking exhilarating. It wasn’t but a few days after the first time that we did it again. And again. And again. He even took me out to buy my own harness and a custom cock. Take it from me ladies, walking around with my dick swinging to and fro in the open apartment mid day was enough to bring me to the edge of orgasm.

Once before, long ago, when I was just an inexperienced, naive, carefree teen, I pegged a boy. It was awkward, quiet, and not as satisfying as hoped. We barely knew each other and were incredibly shy. Obviously not a great formula for sexual success.

After blossoming into my adult sexual self I have waited and writhed for the day I would receive the opportunity to indulge in this fantasy properly. Thank goodness for Paul entering my life when he did and making it a routine part of our relationship. Nothing about it was awkward this time around; he gave as much as I was willing to take and reciprocated pleasure in the most amazing ways. For once in my life I was the dom and the sub; the male and the female; the pleaser and the pleasee.

*** Since I began writing this post weeks ago, Adam and I have had a few very difficult yet much-needed conversations. He is rather convinced that if given time the vanilla shell can be cracked. There is much appreciation in these sentiments but I am still a little weary and guarded about being intimate and open in some ways. I’m not quite sure if I’m ready to switch from student to teacher. Gender neutrality and queerness don’t seem to scare him yet I can see the look of confusion as he tries so hard to be open and understand. I will keep you posted.